- You will be given a body.
- You will be taught lessons.
- There are no mistakes in life, only lessons.
- If a lesson is not learned, it gets repeated.
- The more often a lesson is repeated, the harder it gets.
- You know you’ve learned your lesson when your actions change.
Number Five: The more often the lesson gets repeated the harder it gets. It took me a while - but I see this now. There are probably only a dozen themes in my life: financial insecurity, fear of abandonment, desire to be seen / heard, the need for companionship, and feeling like I am not enough are a few of them. I avoid the negative and grasp for the positive. This grasping and avoidance cause me problems. I get lessons about the difficulty this grasping and avoidance creates in my life. I wish the lesson would STAY LEARNED, but evidently I forget. I have felt heard, I have felt being seen and accepted - and the feeling dissipates. The difficulty comes when I look outside myself for the security and resolutions. The more often I reach outside the more painful the disappointment. Looking inside, I am content. The lesson is look within.
Number Six: You know you have learned your lesson when your actions change. Yes. I have had a very successful experience with this in terms of my addiction. The Pain of using became greater than my fear of stopping. The lesson was learned, the actions changed and... the lesson stays learned. In other parts of my life I seem to go back to numbers 3-5 again and again. I eat more than I need to and I gain weight. I eat more wisely and I lose. My actions changed. And then they didn't. I have become much less defensive in recent years. Defensive reactions caused aggressive or dismissive behavior from others. I changed my behavior, became more matter of fact and clear and others began to treat me differently. I changed my behavior and my situation changed.
With these six laws of being human I can both feel myself being part of the universal connection with others, that my difficulties and dilemmas are not unique. I also see the path out. As in recovery the path out is ACTION. I must make a change for there to BE change. The struggle comes in finding out the nugget of change the seed of change the internal core that needs to be addressed. I need to find this OR my issue leaks out in another similar behavior and I am led to the same lesson.
Being patient, being slow, taking time with the examination of the issue and the lesson will guide me to the action that I need to take. So it isn't so hard next time.
Kyczy is the creator of SOAR(tm) (Success Over Addiction and Relapse). This certification training now available in an ONLINE study course.
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