Many nights ago I had been having dreams about my death. I no longer find these frightening; I have come to realize they are about change and not my final "transition". I know change is coming, I have thought about my actions and activities and know that a shift and realignment is due. I am uncomfortable so the dreams help me work it out.
Last night's dream was about encouragement and grace, bravery and being guided.
Last night I dreamed about being in a small boat, like a canoe or a kayak. I was on my knees gazing towards shore. I was in the ocean, in a bay, not just any bay, but the bay outside the harbor in Lisbon, Portugal.
I was paddling in from the ocean toward land - but I had no paddles; I was using my cupped hands. There was a passenger in the boat but I could not see him or her behind me, I was just aware of their presence. Even without the aid of the paddles I was able to make headway kneeling in my boat, paddling with my hands.
The fog was rolling in. Within minutes my sight of the city was completely obscured. I had no idea where to head. I was frightened but not panicked. My conscious brain was surprised by this reaction while my dreaming brain accepted it. (This bifurcation of dream and "conscious mind" thoughts happen often in my "message" dreams.)
The forwarder I went, the more lost I became. When I was on the verge of leaving dismay and finding fear I looked deep into the fog and there in the fog were projected numbers - the latitude and longitude of my location. I just had to keep moving in the direction of the appropriate latitude and longitude of my DESTINATION and I would be guided home.
Like a clock that projects the time on the wall or ceiling, this guidance was projected in the fog which prevented me from seeing land, making the fog the perfect screen for the perfect pathway to lead me home. While in real life I don't know these map references for any town, city, or neighborhood, in my dream the meaning of the numbers and the ability to understand them became mine.
My resolve as I paddled into shore and delivered my passenger safely was to go back, using my special skill, the vision to see this guidance, to help others who struggled to find the harbor.
And then I woke up. I woke up and woke up. I know what my change is about and I know without a doubt that if I don't panic, if I look carefully, I will find signs, signals, and support to get me where I am meant to be. I need to get there under my own steam, the use of my hands when paddling. I may have extra weight (perhaps the "old me" in the back of the boat?) I may feel on the verge of fear but if I look up and around I will find just what I need to see to help me home.
Kyczy Hawk E-RYT200, RYT500 is the author of "Yoga and the Twelve Step Path", a leader of Y12SR classes, and the creator of SOAR(tm) (Success Over Addiction and Relapse); a teacher certification training that she holds with her good friend Kent Bond E-RYT500.
Find out more about her, her classes and the SOAR(tm) training at yogarecovery.com