A Gift Bag Of Puke

First let me say that lessons can be found anywhere, in any form. I choose to actively look for my lessons; life speaks to me. There is a window above my kitchen sink. I can watch kids going to and from school, people on their daily runs, or walking their dogs as I wash my dishes, pare my fruits and cut my vegetables or run cool water to drink.

 Sometimes a car will park under the curbside tree to make or receive a cell phone call. I look out with curiosity, hoping to recognize the occupant as a visitor and not just someone using the shade for convenience. A few days ago a car stopped and the passenger door opened. I gazed out anticipating recognition. Someone was dropping by! Instead the passenger leaned out and, partially hidden by the butterfly iris bush, began to heave. She spasmed over the curb several times, began to withdraw back into the car and lurched out again to wretch some more. I am standing at my sink watching this - feeling I should run a glass of water and bring it to her.

But my mind kicks in and overrules my heart with thoughts. I start thinking; embarrassment on her part, intrusion on my part, the front door sticks so I won't get out there on time, and so on. I waste vital minutes on prevarication eventually talking myself out of this basic act of human kindness. It is too late. She has drawn back into the car one final time, the car door closes and they pull away. I gaze back to the curb mildly concerned about what I would see - and there is it! A gaily, brightly colored gift bag in the gutter. I can't believe my eyes. She had found a container in her car to catch her effluvia. She had done what she could to contain the mess. I am astounded. I pause, drink the glass of water I had started for her and felt shame.

Shame that I had not overcome my reticence and offered this suffering traveler a gift of comfort; and yet she had done her best to reduce the impact of HER discomfort to me, and unknown homeowner. She had tried to mitigate the problem her pain had caused me. I had another lesson; follow your heart, your instinct for kindness.

 A walker trips in front of you- instinctively you reach to assist her. Someone drops a parcel - without thinking you reach down to retrieve it for them. Don't think: do. Don't let your head - which is NOT always wise - over rule your humanity. Rather than delaying a kindness due to some pre-sensed prejudice - such as the inconvenience of sick in the gutter - go with compassion and offer to ease a traveler's discomfort. 

 This is what I have learned from a gift bag of puke.

Kyczy Hawk E-RYT200, RTY500 is the author of "Yoga and the Twelve Step Path", a leader of Y12SR classes, and the creator of SOAR(tm) (Success Over Addiction and Relapse) a teacher certification training. 
Follow her ONLINE recovery infused yoga classes 
http://yogarecovery.studiolivetv.com/MemberRegistrationYR.aspx

Learning how to receive

Over this holiday I received a gift of money. I was astounded, surprised and very grateful. This was un-budgeted, unexpected cash. Over the last several years my "wanting" has decreased. We live close to the bone, within our means and it suits me. I have no pressing need for any material goods. I am of an age where I have collected all I want and have all I need. My kitchen has pots and pans, my closet has clothes that fit, and I have ceased craving the next new design or color for my towels and sheets. I have it all! I am totally grateful and aware, deeply aware, that not all people can say even a fraction of that.
But this was a surprise and it opened up the door on wanting, the revisiting of craving. Was I going to toss this money into the "bill" maw and allow it to be part of the PGE, the water, the insatiable gas needs of my truck? It could certainly go there. It could provide some measure of security, some "prepaid" assurance against some unforeseen need like tires, or a house repair. But I didn't want to do that with all of this bounty. I did feel like I needed to practice receiving. This was a gift to me, an opportunity to do or have for myself something that I wouldn't permit myself otherwise. I don't often see the gray, but this time I did. What if I used some for myself and some against a rainy day?
So I did. I registered for on online course on intention and self care. I am taking: Living on Purpose; Group Coaching on Deliberate Creation - with Rolf Gates. I have been thinking for a while that I would like some time for self development: development that has, at its end purpose, my own self care. I have a habit, an unfortunate focus of intent, of signing up to learn things SO I can teach. Take a sculpture class so I can better explain it to others, take a training so I can lead and so on. It is important that I be in service; but just now, while I face a lot of new and unknown things I need to, I want to, take care of myself. So this wonderful gift of surprise money allowed me to take advantage of this idea I had; taking care of myself, without having to purloin funds from the family fund.
First step in self care... learning how to receive. I guess that is the second part of the present.