Small Pleasures

I was filled with a sense of pleasure when I read this the other day. Usually one identifies with the hedonist- the pizza inhaling, nap snatching, uninhibited shedder that is Garfield. In this strip, however, it is clearly Jon who "gets it". Rather than succumbing to ennui his senses are enlivened by nothing more than a breeze. It is wonderful to live in the consciousness that it is the small things that count. I have an orange tree by my back door and it can make my breezes "the best" as well. Today I will lift my face and breathe in the air. Life is good and totally impressive.


Kyczy Hawk E-RYT200, RTY500 is the author of "Yoga and the Twelve Step Path" ans "Life in Bite Sized Morsels", a leader of Y12SR classes, and the creator of SOAR(tm) (Success Over Addiction and Relapse) a teacher certification training. 

Follow her ONLINE recovery infused yoga classes 
http://yogarecovery.studiolivetv.com/MemberRegistrationYR.aspx

Gratitude Fills My Heart

THREE YEARS AGO THIS HAPPENED

A short note with a BIG THANK YOU to Rob and Angie of our local recovery bookstore; All About Recovery. They hosted a wonderful book signing for me to welcome my book "Yoga and The Twelve Step Path" into the world.

Now, again, All About Recovery is holding a grand RE-Opening of the store August 15th, 2015 from 11am to 3pm. There will be a celebration with food prizes and at 1pm I will be signing my NEW BOOK "Life in Bite Sized Morsels- Learning to Live Life on Life's Terms".


This is how it unfolded in 2012: 

I arrived early to see if I needed to do anything to help prepare and to find out what the process would be. They had everything under control: coffee hot and water cool for the event. Even a popcorn machine was out and ready, giving the space a festival feel.

 As an extra added attraction their daughter in law was set up to do chair massage. I was the first one to take advantage of this offer - and she gave me the most wonderful massage - gratis - effectively petting all my fur into the right direction. I calmed down, got centered, used my breath and - well not quite relaxed - but moved into the moment. As I was draped over the chair I heard the first person come in asking about the signing and the book. It is really happening.

Even before 2pm folks were coming in. Friends brought snacks, they chatted and walked around the store. They bought cards, CDs and books. I was able to witness the interconnectedness of people in the area - folks who knew each other unbeknownst to me. With the conversational buzz and greetings shouted across the room, and general feeling of excitement; it was a PARTY! Seated at a table in the back of the lovely air conditioned shop I was able to spend a few minutes with each person who came. That made it even better than a party where you really don't get to SEE everyone who comes because you are dashing about.

At this celebration I got moments with each person. I saw people who had driven quite a distance, people I hadn't seen in years, and people who were an unexpected surprise. At 5pm, an hour after the signing was to have been done, I grabbed a treat from the snack table and wandered off to my truck and home, exhausted but delighted. I thank you all! I am so grateful, Namaste.

Kyczy Hawk E-RYT200, RTY500 is the author of "Yoga and the Twelve Step Path" ans "Life in Bite Sized Morsels", a leader of Y12SR classes, and the creator of SOAR(tm) (Success Over Addiction and Relapse) a teacher certification training. 

Follow her ONLINE recovery infused yoga classes 
http://yogarecovery.studiolivetv.com/MemberRegistrationYR.aspx

My Mind Was Playing Thief This Morning

This morning I was sitting in meditation – or I was until my mind stole away from me. In fact – it stole away WITH me. I had settled onto my place, without a thought of concern or dismay. I had done my rituals before settling down to let go. I was looking forward to this moment of quiet with no second thoughts of; “Will I be able to have a moment with a quiet mind?” “Will I be able to let go?” “What busy-ness do I have going on with my morning that I cannot afford these few minutes of mediation?” None of these usual resistances came to the fore. I lit my incense, I prepared my cushion, I got my shawl. I ensured that my toes would be warm and that my space was prepared. I sat.

The next thing I knew I was back from a long mental journey – whisked away on a story of unusual content and amazing detail. I was securing my home! I was locking the windows that are behind me in this room, I was turning bolts on the doors to my house and fretting about what was of value that could be stolen. What about the computer files that had not been recently backed up! I was not sure I could remember the name of my off line back up service and certainly not the passwords to retrieve the data. In fact I was convinced that all my work would be stolen away, unappreciated, and the hard drive wiped clean so my machine could be resold. I was shocked by this feeling of vulnerability as well as the idea of grasping and covetousness I was sensing about my goods. I was feeling so fearful and trying to think of a lo-jack equivalent that would prevent the computer from being useful to anyone else who might end up with it. Some sort of gizmo that would prevent start up in the “wrong” hands. How greedy and unkind; how confusing to my deep sense of “don’t fret, all will be well” that was accompanied with a twinge of pay back. “Go ahead and take my stuff – it will be useless to you if you do”.

Heart beating and heart hurting I came back to the present moment shocked and surprised. Breathe in, breathe out. Again. Breathe in, breath out; again. Release and find the meditative state; breathing and letting go and a blink later - WHAM – my mind is in my truck now – designing a key chain clip that would prevent a car from functioning 3 minutes after it was stolen or hijacked. There would be some kind of a chip that would need to be connected (wi fi, of course) to something I had in my pocket so that the ignition would function. If this connection were interrupted the car would stop; however the car would run long enough that the thief would think s/he had gotten away and then the vehicle would cease to function, not able to start again until this connection with the “mother chip” were re-established. Of course the thief wouldn’t know about this clever anti theft device until it was too late and then they would be nabbed.

I snapped to, back on the cushion – the timer had gone off and I was in distress. What was going on? I was afraid of loosing my current work. I didn’t know that. I was unaware of any feelings of scarcity or lack; any sense that what I am doing could “go away”. And yet – I was mentally locking doors and windows to keep my “self” safe. I am not a vehicle person. I love having transportation but I am not all about my truck. Any vehicle will do – so maybe rather than being possessive about my truck, it is the option and the freedom and the mobility that the vehicle symbolizes. Who knows. I was trying to find a way to keep myself from being ripped off AND, again, of having what was stolen be useless to the other.

What does this mean? I am still working it out. I need to take care of myself and give myself a sense of security. What is there in my world that is on shaky ground, that I feel could be taken away? It won’t be the obvious; that I know. So, for now, I am being kind, and coming back to the mat – where evidently the unconscious fears can be released. I also have to look at that feeling of retribution; spitting on someone else's food so it won’t be palatable to them . I hope my mind is more generous than I am; allowing me to find these peregrinations useful and not making the lesson useless to me. Thank goodness it is the PRACTICE of meditation. I will keep coming back to the cushion and to my program.

Kyczy Hawk E-RYT200, RTY500 is the author of "Yoga and the Twelve Step Path" ans "Life in Bite Sized Morsels", a leader of Y12SR classes, and the creator of SOAR(tm) (Success Over Addiction and Relapse) a teacher certification training. 

Follow her ONLINE recovery infused yoga classes 
http://yogarecovery.studiolivetv.com/MemberRegistrationYR.aspx

A Gift Bag Of Puke

First let me say that lessons can be found anywhere, in any form. I choose to actively look for my lessons; life speaks to me. There is a window above my kitchen sink. I can watch kids going to and from school, people on their daily runs, or walking their dogs as I wash my dishes, pare my fruits and cut my vegetables or run cool water to drink.

 Sometimes a car will park under the curbside tree to make or receive a cell phone call. I look out with curiosity, hoping to recognize the occupant as a visitor and not just someone using the shade for convenience. A few days ago a car stopped and the passenger door opened. I gazed out anticipating recognition. Someone was dropping by! Instead the passenger leaned out and, partially hidden by the butterfly iris bush, began to heave. She spasmed over the curb several times, began to withdraw back into the car and lurched out again to wretch some more. I am standing at my sink watching this - feeling I should run a glass of water and bring it to her.

But my mind kicks in and overrules my heart with thoughts. I start thinking; embarrassment on her part, intrusion on my part, the front door sticks so I won't get out there on time, and so on. I waste vital minutes on prevarication eventually talking myself out of this basic act of human kindness. It is too late. She has drawn back into the car one final time, the car door closes and they pull away. I gaze back to the curb mildly concerned about what I would see - and there is it! A gaily, brightly colored gift bag in the gutter. I can't believe my eyes. She had found a container in her car to catch her effluvia. She had done what she could to contain the mess. I am astounded. I pause, drink the glass of water I had started for her and felt shame.

Shame that I had not overcome my reticence and offered this suffering traveler a gift of comfort; and yet she had done her best to reduce the impact of HER discomfort to me, and unknown homeowner. She had tried to mitigate the problem her pain had caused me. I had another lesson; follow your heart, your instinct for kindness.

 A walker trips in front of you- instinctively you reach to assist her. Someone drops a parcel - without thinking you reach down to retrieve it for them. Don't think: do. Don't let your head - which is NOT always wise - over rule your humanity. Rather than delaying a kindness due to some pre-sensed prejudice - such as the inconvenience of sick in the gutter - go with compassion and offer to ease a traveler's discomfort. 

 This is what I have learned from a gift bag of puke.

Kyczy Hawk E-RYT200, RTY500 is the author of "Yoga and the Twelve Step Path", a leader of Y12SR classes, and the creator of SOAR(tm) (Success Over Addiction and Relapse) a teacher certification training. 
Follow her ONLINE recovery infused yoga classes 
http://yogarecovery.studiolivetv.com/MemberRegistrationYR.aspx

Setting Intentions Can Be Scary!

It is one thing to step securely on the sand and let your feet be lapped by the waves- it is another thing entirely to be in the water, toes touching nothing, being part of the vastness, lifted by the waves. Setting intentions and aligning them with purpose has been like that for me. After having taken Rolf Gate's "Living on Purpose" workshop I have been writing and noting (scribing and observing). I made a list of opportunities I am ready for. I really thought about what my purpose, service and mission are. I sat with my eyes closed and my mind focused to FEEL how I wanted them to manifest. Much is the same: intent is different. My vision has become more precise as "the universe has difficulty supporting ambivalence". So integration and unification has been the path of the last few weeks. Reviewing choices about my activities, selecting them wisely and putting them in concert with my intentions has created a powerful energy flow in my life. This has been the toes on the shore portion of the process. In the sea: the opportunities have undulated towards me. I have had people come to me, unbidden, to help me out with facets of my dreams. I have had calls and contacts from across the country in Maryland to invite me to come and play; to teach and to remember my community. I was able to find an error in an important piece of work and, with grace and support, was able to get it fixed. I am, again, ok with mistakes - they do not drown me. I can relax and re-work, repair and restore. So... Beware and rejoice! The bounty of the universe may be yours, too!

Ethics and My Daily Practice

HOT, MEDIUM OR COOL - How to I integrate my ethics into life and practice.


It was suggested to me that I think about how I live my ethics; is my practice "hot, medium or cool". My first internal response to this was - I am rigorous about my attention to my ethics. I am a practicing member of my recovery fellowship, AA, and I am a practicing yogi. I work the steps, and practice the principles in "all of my affairs". I have a daily spiritual practice of listening to my inner stillness and honoring the 8 limbs of Raja Yoga.

On more reflection I realized why it is called a PRACTICE (and not a perfection). Some days may approach is lukewarm if not totally "cool". I sit in stillness only to make note of all my thoughts of things to do. The stillness is merely organized inactivity in preparation for wild activity. There are days my personal yoga practice is so perfunctory as to be merely extended stretching while putting on my socks and pulling on my sweater. I may stop at a sink or wall to extend my back and experience the tightness in my hamstrings or calves, push my palm against the hallway wall and linger for thirty seconds to open my tight shoulders but that is it. It is the practice of yoga while I am on my way to doing something else. Certainly not a mindful mat practice. 

My engagement with my ethics is another part of the journey. First, what are they? I embrace the Yamas and the Niyamas (and the corollary of some of them in avoiding the 7 Deadly Sins) and they do form the basis of my ethical behavior. That includes the practices of forgiveness and compassion - so critical for me to be able to express and act in these ethical manners.

When do I fall short? I fall short when I am feeling less about myself. I fall short when I feel I need something that with my own current skill or resource level, I am unable to earn on my own. This can apply to the material; but more often now it occurs when I feel I need or want something non-material. This can be ability on the mat, this can be artistic and technical skills in the pottery studio, this can be wisdom to navigate difficult situations in life. When I am feeling badly about myself I have more opportunity to "regret the past", I have more need to control the outcomes of situations, I am unwise in my speech and attitude and am more likely to cause harm. When I am angry at myself I am much more likely to find occasion to be angry at others. This may sound simplistic - but is IS all about me! It is my "stinkin thinkin" that gets me into difficulties.

Compassion with myself begets compassion with others, Acceptance of myself as I am "leaks out" to manifest in acceptance of people, places and things as they are. And this causes a wave; a smile given is a smile returned. Listening quietly with an open heart allows the speaker to be in there moment unfettered to expectations. Employing Tapas, discipline, to acquire the skills I need to be better at what I do will remove the need to yearn for others' abilities. When it comes to things - examine why I need then, what it is I really "want" and then, work and save for it if that thing is necessary. So how am I with my ethics? Better in this moment, better when I consider them in what I think, say and do. Will I ever think I am "hot" or 80 to 100% attentive? I don't know. I am concerned that when I feel "hot" I am really "cool".

Today, however, I am going to reinvigorate my attention to this question; I will remind myself again and again (I have an over active "forget-er") to come back to the question and then, to come back to compassion.

Kyczy Hawk E-RYT200, RYT500 is the author of "Yoga and the Twelve Step Path", "LIfe in Bite Sized Morsels" and a leader of Y12SR classes. She is the creator of SOAR(tm) (Success Over Addiction and Relapse) a teacher certification training. Recovery infused yoga classes are available on Studio Live TV. Find out more about her, her classes and the training at www.yogarecovery.com

Learning how to receive

Over this holiday I received a gift of money. I was astounded, surprised and very grateful. This was un-budgeted, unexpected cash. Over the last several years my "wanting" has decreased. We live close to the bone, within our means and it suits me. I have no pressing need for any material goods. I am of an age where I have collected all I want and have all I need. My kitchen has pots and pans, my closet has clothes that fit, and I have ceased craving the next new design or color for my towels and sheets. I have it all! I am totally grateful and aware, deeply aware, that not all people can say even a fraction of that.
But this was a surprise and it opened up the door on wanting, the revisiting of craving. Was I going to toss this money into the "bill" maw and allow it to be part of the PGE, the water, the insatiable gas needs of my truck? It could certainly go there. It could provide some measure of security, some "prepaid" assurance against some unforeseen need like tires, or a house repair. But I didn't want to do that with all of this bounty. I did feel like I needed to practice receiving. This was a gift to me, an opportunity to do or have for myself something that I wouldn't permit myself otherwise. I don't often see the gray, but this time I did. What if I used some for myself and some against a rainy day?
So I did. I registered for on online course on intention and self care. I am taking: Living on Purpose; Group Coaching on Deliberate Creation - with Rolf Gates. I have been thinking for a while that I would like some time for self development: development that has, at its end purpose, my own self care. I have a habit, an unfortunate focus of intent, of signing up to learn things SO I can teach. Take a sculpture class so I can better explain it to others, take a training so I can lead and so on. It is important that I be in service; but just now, while I face a lot of new and unknown things I need to, I want to, take care of myself. So this wonderful gift of surprise money allowed me to take advantage of this idea I had; taking care of myself, without having to purloin funds from the family fund.
First step in self care... learning how to receive. I guess that is the second part of the present.