Growing and Changing

A new class is being formed for Yoga and Recovery - Y12Sr - starting Monday, January 9, 2011 from 7 pm to 9 pm at the Gyalwa Gyatso Buddhist Center in Campbell. I am excited and feeling a little anxious. It is the kind of anxious I feel when I have invited folks over and the table is set, the food is all but finished, the house is clean, the towels arranged just so in the "necessary". I am ready and it is only four hours until the guests arrive! Not really, but it feels like that. The preparedness and the forward looking combine to being both in the past (preparation) and the future (arrival). The present looms large with the sensation of no NOW. Really, the NOW is all there is and being really there, in the moment, in each moment without the distraction of things to do, or conversations to begin, or projects to start, is very uncomfortable. This is actually the perfect time to practice now-ness.
While I experience anticipation and excitement I will make these days about being where I am; practicing the fullness of karma yoga. I do all that I can and let go of the results. Sounds almost like the program, doesn't it! Ha - tricked again into practicing the principles in all my affairs.
Happy New Year!

A Heart Cracked Open

I Love It - For Real, for real.

I am going to take several days to integrate what I discovered and learned (which are quite different things) at the Yoga and Addiction Recovery Conference at Esalen this past week. Nikki Myers, Rolf Gates, Vinnie Marino, Noah Levine, Carrie Coppola and Tommy Rosen all shared with a generosity of spirit, an authenticity and availability that touched me deeply. Among the intense experience of somatic release, meditation, 12 Step sharing and dharma talks my mind, body, spirit and emotions found corners of my heart. These areas had been long protected. I let them emerge without having to analyze or explain why they had been hidden. This abrupt awakening left me with a heart cracked open. I felt this with my body in the form of tears, in my emotions as a sense of increased vulnerability followed by a sense of alertness and aliveness, and in my spirit with renewed love and affection for both myself and others. Yes, for myself and others. Both. What a gift.

Stay tuned for more.

In the meantime my article on the breath was published in the Dynamic Living Magazine. Click here for more!

Preparing for November Workshop

I am so delighted to be able to present my workshop on Yoga and the 12 Step Path November 13th at the Gyalwa Gyatso Buddhist Center in Campbell. I am going to focus on the Yamas and the Niyamas as well as lead a gentle yoga class. I am still contemplating and meditating on the actual content of each section and that gives me an opportunity to listen to and reflect upon the truth of these tenets in my everyday life. That is where the yoga lives in me - in the truth of my thoughts, speech and behavior in everyday life. These concepts are not just to be part of reading and discussion (although that is a starting point). These concepts come alive as I practice them - not only out and about with people I don't know, but with my family and friends, as well as in my heart and mind when conversing with myself. The addict lives strongest in my brain and the practices of yoga need to winkle themselves in there to soften my heart, calm my mind and bring the actions of self tenderness into the day. So here is to my practice and I look forward to sharing it with you. Come join me Sunday 11/13/12. More information will be forthcoming.

Y12SR - back from Leadership training and "my heart is full"

I have been back from the Y12SR Leadership training for several days now. It has taken me awhile to assimilate and absorb the information. Y12SR is a meeting format that includes both an all recovery path 12 Step based meeting followed by a one hour yoga practice. The focus or theme of this yoga practice comes out of the energies discovered during the meeting. How to lead and read the meeting, and how to bring this understanding to the mat were the foci of the training.

The training began with developing an understanding addiction and recovery. The importance of self knowledge as well as "felt sense" as keys to relapse prevention were discussed. The workshop went into the somatics of trauma. It also led us to an awareness of the issues of pre-judgement and understanding how our life experiences can impact unconscious inclusion or dis-inclusion of others. She also described how these experiences can affect the processes of leadership. Our "short comings" and personal triggers can have an impact our effectiveness. Exercises were practiced to experience the pitfalls that can arise in group situations.

It was challenging and affirming, educational and emotional, informative and inspiring. Nikki Myers presented amazing material. Most importantly she led us into ourselves to help us FEEL how this information both affects us and affects how we impact our environment.

The process of being in recovery profoundly informs how we are in the world. How we are in the world has a big impact on how we are in groups. How well we know ourselves and our own behaviors and discernment can have a big impact on how effectively we can lead groups. Effective leadership in this setting means creating a safe sacred space and leaving room for others to find their way to healing.

This was a mind - wide opening workshop, led with skill and grace by Nikki with an amazing group of yogis. While this training is not gender restrictive - this particular class was exclusively female and we made the most of this constellation of goddess energy. Sharing freely and deeply I feel a deep sense of closeness and bonding with all the women who were there. Thank you all for your contributions, empathy and love. Namaste

New friends - old souls

The Y12SR and Sunday night yoga classes have new students. I am enriched with knowledge, insights and struggles brought by each new person who comes to class.
I have had the delight of getting to know a young person who is the friend of one of my kids. An "old soul" who has wisdom and kindness, yet has experienced so much pain from the journey to wholeness. Coming back to the class week after week I get to hear the serenity being developed, the healthy solutions being sought and the tenacity that grows out of living a life in recovery one day at a time.
I have met people further along their path of recovery who want or need to expand their tools of coping and soothing. Yoga coupled with the tools of recovery do fit that bill: yoga philosophy giving an additional framework in which to discuss our recovery ethics and what it true to us. Yoga movement helping to release the tensions that have built over time. Pain in the spirit, the body, and the mind can be lovingly addressed and let go.
I have met people who are not sure what the problem is: self or another, personal behavior or the "unacceptable" behavior of a loved one. Sitting in the discussion circle, hearing what is read and said, can help unravel the confusion. Taking it to the mat can assist working things out; as the body moves through the poses - the subconscious mind can move through what has been said. Sivasana can then integrate the activity of the body and the enlightenment of the mind.
So new folks are arriving each week; some stay , some drift in and out, but I am always left with the honor of having been in their presence. I am grateful.

There is a publisher for my book!

"Yoga and the 12 Step Path" may well soon see the light of day! I am so excited, I am savoring every moment of this process of becoming published. A year to write, four months to edit, five weeks in the hands of an able agent and a decade to experience, research and live.
It is exciting to experience this stage of the journey and I am in each moment OF the experience. At this time my healthy brain is allowing me to be in the gratitude and joy of the moment. Rather than anticipating what may come, or being anxious about my choices up until now I am bathing in the beauty of now. Gratitude and the breath make the miracle of each minute real.

Daily Meditation

For a period of 10 days I had been using a guided meditation to refresh my morning practice. I discovered an useful intention-setting meditation; "Listening to Your Inner Voice" by Lori Leyden. Surprisingly it truly has had an impact on my days.

I try guided meditations from time to time; and while I benefit from all moments in meditation some experiences linger. This practice has been one of those. I have been struggling with a challenge and the guidance provided here, along with my desire to face my barriers and boundaries, is the perfect union with my practice right now. Sitting quietly, becoming conscious of my safety, my willingness to grow and feel differently than I do now (practicing satya and aparigraha) and allowing, without constraint or control, to let the truth unfold slowly, I found my intention. I did not come to the cushion with a specific intention in mind. I came to the cushion with an openness to the possibilities; the possibility of change.

This is what the journey into a sober life has been for me. I did have an intention at first - to STOP IT! I wasn't sure what IT was; I did know that it would entail putting down the drink and drugs, but I had no idea what would come next. I just showed up. I found safety in the rooms, I became honest, and I became willing. I learned to let go: to let go of who I was and let go of what I thought was "going to happen".  And my life got better; the future opened up and while all situations have not been rosy - they have led to rosy moments and a life I could never have imagined.

So - being open to the intention discovered in this meditation was kind of like being a new comer to my life. I have jerks and pauses, and then cruise along with the smooth deep breath of moments that allow my days to be beautiful.

If you are interested try it! I am posting it here for your listening pleasure!

Kyczy Hawk E-RYT200, RTY500 is the author of "Yoga and the Twelve Step Path", a leader of Y12SR classes, and the creator of SOAR(tm) (Success Over Addiction and Relapse) a certification training now available in an ONLINE study course.  Go to the website, scroll to the end of the page and sign up now http://www.yogarecovery.com/SOAR__tm__Cert_all.html

You may also take her ONLINE recovery infused yoga classes 
http://yogarecovery.studiolivetv.com/MemberRegistrationYR.aspx